Ego is often treated as a sin, but ego just means the individual self. Without an ego we cannot exist as humans: we can only be beings. As spiritual beings, we are naturally united and in union with each other, and with all of creation. But we have incarnated in these bodies in order to experience individuality and separateness. To destroy or suppress the ego means to deny this human experience.
The ego is often called the false self. The true self is the inner self, the spiritual being, or soul. The false self (ego) causes us problems when it dominates the true spiritual self, as it is inclined to do, being selfish and domineering in nature. The true self is humble in nature and will not fight the ego, nor seek to dominate it, and so the ego easily gains the upper hand. So we do have to deal with our egos, but instead of suppressing the ego, or seeking to destroy this false self, we should teach it to surrender to the true spiritual self. The ego must become the servant of the spiritual master. This is self mastery: a painful process for the ego, but a liberation for the true self.
We should respect ourselves. We should honor ourselves. But we should not tolerate arrogance in ourselves, nor self pity, nor selfishness, nor a desire to control. These are damaging traits of the ego.
Someone with arrogance will not accept that they are arrogant: instead they will point out the arrogance in others. This judging of others is a sure sign that the ego is in control. When we have self mastery we judge only ourselves: we will then see only our own faults, and not the defects of others. This is not the same as having self pity: self pity is an inverted form of arrogance, and is selfish and egotistical in nature. One with self mastery has self respect, and is self critical, but not self pitying.
Arrogance is very incognito: it quietly hides away inside of us, but it is visible on the face and features. Arrogance destroys our tolerance and love, and prevents us from harmonizing with others. An arrogant person will feel that the more distant they keep themselves from everyone else, the happier they will be: they feel that they can do whatever needs to be done on their own. Such an attitude will inevitably produce misery, and through suffering the arrogance will, at times, break down. When the arrogance is broken there is an opportunity to see it for what it is, and to free the self from it.
We gain self mastery through checking ourselves and through adjusting our thought patterns. We must first notice our defects, and having done so, correct them. For example, when we find ourselves looking critically at what others are doing, we should stop and take the time to sit quietly and examine our own selves. There is no simple method for attaining self mastery: we learn slowly, and often through bitter experience, and with struggle. The ego does not surrender without a fight. We must be persistent, diligent and determined, to subdue and retrain the ego.
When the ego is in control, the mind will go into great expansions of detail: details of past events, or imagined future events, or imagined artistic creations. Such mental complexity is a sure sign of the ego being in control. We have to learn to focus on the present moment, and not on the past nor the future nor what others are doing or thinking. We have to let ourselves experience and enjoy what we are doing now, in the moment. We have to bring simplicity into our lives. We have to slow down. We have to quieten the egotistical mind, to allow our intuition, the quiet calm voice of the true self, to be heard. As the many questions of the ego-driven mind start to fade, we become able to hear the answers and explanations that we sought, coming from within
This movement from complexity to simplicity - from the endless chattering of a cluttered and hurried mind, to the calm pleasure of intuitive being - can be seen as a process of merging: we merge the expansion and detail into oneness.
So we learn to speak less, and to think less. There is nothing that requires excessive thinking. When the ego is in control there is a great deal of talking, and both the speakers and the listeners get very tired: the atmosphere then is not one of peace. When we have self mastery we think and speak with precision and in essence: we have become peaceful internally, and we create an atmosphere of peace and tranquility around us. This is real peace: the silence of understanding, and not just the quietness of withdrawal or suppression. Self mastery allows our innate love and light to flow out to others, and our relationships with others become good ones. We become naturally patient and content. We are no longer upset by the bad behaviors of others, nor by the trials of circumstance. Instead we see the strengths and virtues in others, and we learn from these.
When we have self mastery, our innate virtue and inner strength and spiritual power start to shine: our true nature is no longer obscured and suppressed by the false self. The ego has become subservient to the soul, and we have become elevated people with a higher state of consciousness. We are pure and honest and wise and great. We are blissfully happy. We can now be of service to the world: the power of our very presence, and the example of our behavior, will help others finish their own sorrow.
We have to become this. We have to actually do it! We have to become present, and give ourselves sweet loving sustenance, and liberate ourselves from the shackles of our own egos. The soul must become master of the ego.
